Hello Dear Readers,
I have run this post every year on International Women’s Day since I wrote it. I sincerely believe that bringing equality to the male+female situation would be the foundation of understanding between us. And understanding is our biggest goal. Please read on and if you agree with my post I’d LOVE to hear from you. Your comments make me happy. Here’s a good day for some bonding. :o)
Today is International Women’s Day. Wikipedia states that today, March 8th is the major day for the global celebration of women. In different regions the focus of the celebrations range from general celebration of respect and appreciation towards women, to a celebration of women’s economic, political and social achievements.
Today, I’m inspired to put down my opinion on a subject close to my heart. I think it’s quite misunderstood. Currently, many view “Feminist” is a derogatory term that’s equated with being masculine and strident. This is a falsehood. To be a feminist simply means believing in the equality between men and women, supporting the idea that women deserve the same rights under the law as men. Feminine and feminist are not mutually exclusive. One can have the wonderful qualities of womanhood and still be a Feminist. It is also true that men can still be masculine while also holding the belief that the women in their lives are their equal.
Where people seem to be getting confused is when manners and common courtesy enter the picture. Just because a man opens a door or pulls out the seat for a woman doesn’t mean he thinks of her as less. A gallant man is not sexist, he is mannerly. It is gentlemanly behavior to have manners and be polite. Holding a woman’s chair should be equated to using please & thank you. It is a form of politeness and shows good manners.
Unisex is not the goal of Feminism, equality is. Men and women make a great team working together. Each gender brings their own strengths to the party. The value of those strengths is what’s equal. This is a good thing and anyone misunderstanding what the Feminist Movement really is can be comforted by that. As the French say… “Vive La Différence!”
Tracy
I have to admit that I don’t personally like the label “feminist” or “feminism.” I’m ok with others using it, but I guess I think of myself more in terms of “gender equalist.” Most of my personal repulsion stems from a graduate school experience in which a 60ish, white male was teaching about feminism in a cultural studies class and he kept getting frustrated with opinions I had. I really didn’t need to have “feminism” MAN-SPLAINED to me and a MAN telling ME how I should “be a feminist” and not resist the label. When the concept has been co-opted and then made MANDATORY, to me, something has gone awry. (And how ironic that cultural studies’ academics often preach against labeling.)
[I wrote and deleted a huge paragraph here. Let’s just say I LIVED what it means to be female at a time when rules are changing and not everyone in the world liked/likes it. Knowing that *I* had those experiences made me even less likely to want to adopt a label that a white, male thinks I should carry to explain my resistance to those experiences.
As women, we have made progress over the last few decades, but in the U.S., young women should continue to pay attention to political/social currents (because we have never gained EQUALITY). I am personally quite curious to read Margaret Atwood’s sequel to A Handmaid’s Tale – a book that I originally read as dystopian fiction, but that is beginning to get dangerously close to reality. I’ve not been able to watch the series (too many parallels with current politics), but I am glad that it has helped spur awareness among some women, particularly younger women.
Sorry Jen, I know this wasn’t exactly the response your were looking for in comments (as far as the feminism bit)!
jawsca
Hi Tracy,
I know just what you’re taling about. I think there’s nothing wrong with not liking the connotation a word has taken on. Many groups over time decide against one word and f prefer another. I wish women, especially young women would embrace what the the word originally meant, equal rights for all. That men and women are equal, are valued equally even though they may be different in so many things. I object and become sad when women don’t embrace that even if they hate the word feminist. Dislike the word, not the concept. The me too movement seems to have brought this subject up and I’m so glad of that. maybe we need a new word. Thanks for your comment, it’s great and helps open wide the ideas that hold us all back.
Best,
Jenn
Carmel Campbell
I do not see myself as a feminist. I am a smart independent woman. A problem usually occurs when a view is to the extreme. Yes women can go extreme. Demanding something or portraying yourself as a victim is not the answer. Being strong and purposeful with the ability to listen goes a long way. I was liberated in the late 60’s .this was the “burn your bra era” I have not looked back since.
Phoebe
I am a millenial. I’m almost 31, married, and LGBTQIA, and I identify as a cis-gender woman. I don’t consider myself a feminist. I feel like mainstream feminism in this day and age have become very white, cis-gendered, straight spaces. I think intersectionality is seriously lacking in the conversations of many modern, mainstream feminists, and as a gay woman, that’s unacceptable (I should point out that I’m white and cis-gendered, as well as middle class, so I’ve got a lot of privilege here, too). I believe that “none of us are free until we all are free,” and that begins with examining how we can bring justice to all marginalized peoples. When the (white) feminists show up in the same numbers for #blacklivesmatter as they did for the women’s march, I’ll consider that a step in the right direction. 🙂
Amy
I don’t care for the word “feminist”, it sounds like an insect to me for some reason! Equalist is a word I like, even humanist. My two favorite words are love and kindness, we all know how it feels to be treated with both. I genuinely try to do this in my personal relationships and short social interactions throughout the day. A smile and a kind word can do so much for someone’s day.
Laura Hale
Thank you for sharing! I’m thankful for all the freedoms we have, most if not all of which have been obtained by courage and integrity. If we can focus on kindness and generosity, we can move mountains.
Susan
I personally object to the word Feminist, but not to equality. I believe the F word here has been vilified over the years as the women’s movement has gone through different phases, from violent suffragists to today’s me movement. I have seen men bristle and women cringe at the mention of the word, and believe any labels are counterproductive, creating barriers rather than constructing a road of understanding. We should all be courteous to, and respectful of, one another regardless of sex.
Born in the 1950’s, I have seen, and been victim of, the oppression of women, the pay inequality, the lesser position for superior work. Until all people are considered equal, socially as well as legally, until all work is considered of equal value and equal worth, then, perhaps, equality may happen. But those in power would have to be willing to give up their positions …………..